Bitch get away from my baby corn salad or I will FUCK YOU UP.

What is this is looks like some soap for my butt cushions, if you know what I’m saying.

Look at this camera, it looks like a fucking car door, all red, Like Iron Man, my camera is Tony Stark, bitch.

CDs look like flattened doughnut mirrors.

I just threw up out my belly button.

One day I’m going to buy a car and put fridge magnets ALL THE FUCK OVER IT.

Every day, a tuna casserole dies.

Only you can stop paper airplanes.

Your face looks like a dick, only your chin looks more like an iguana.

MY CARPET DOES COCAINE.

Saw an iguana and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

Sonny, you better get yo ass back out there and start herding them sea monkeys.

No I will not, as you say, “get with” your automan. He’s just not my type.

MY ASCOT BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEY’RE LIKE DAMN RIGHT IT’S FULL OF LARD.

These goldfish fins tickle my phalanges.

I don’t care if you show up late for your mom’s birthday, I just want to make sure that you save all those orphans from that burning whale.

The letter L is a total pedophile.

Steve Harris and my dad should totally have a beer together and talk about Jethro Tull, and then go golfing. Which is weird because my Dad hates golfing and I don’t think Steve Harris is to fond of it either. Either way they should be homiez 4 lyf.

Hello my name is Alfonzo, the fabled stripper mender.

Step back or I’ll give you a wiffle.

I just hit a baby seal with another baby seal, ten points to Hufflepuff.